


Will You Still Love Me Till Morning?

by silverdoll14



Series: Click [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:43:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4037323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdoll14/pseuds/silverdoll14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“With that one question, Jun had bore everything, that yes, he was in love with Sho…”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Matsumoto Jun isn't blind. He is meticulous with details after all so he doesn't missed out on anything. He can pinpoint where or when it will be a miss or a hit. He just has the eyes on everything but then he's only a human and so maybe he is indeed blind and it only comes to a certain guy named Sakurai Sho... _As much as it's cliche, that's what you call blind for love._

He asks his self so many times, _how can you live with this?_  Just thinking about how this setup has started and Jun will  just scratch his head on the reason why. He isn't expecting anything after all when they started this. It is both curiosity and somewhat a need _(and don’t forget the time of raging hormones when you will jump at anyone if time permits)._ Sho should have known better  since he is older and wiser yet still maybe pressure has been far too great that he needs an outlet in a way and Jun has always been willing because this is Sho and _Sho-kun needs me._

 

But then maybe Jun does expect something in return but it will result to awkwardness and no matter how passionate he is in things, this is something he doesn't want to complicate than already it has been anymore but it happens.

 

Jun doesn't want to voice it out though, doesn't act on it, pretends it's nothing but casualty and just pleasure. He just keeps it with a promise not a wind about it as long as he lives. But then, _promises were meant to be broken I guess._

 

He is 22 and Sho is a year older and a degree holder. They are having drinks, _too plenty of drinks._ Since it is pretty late and Sho obviously outdone his self with too much alcohol in his system, with Jun’s still sober mind, he decides to let Sho crash in his house since his parents had been out of town for a trip to some of their relatives in another prefecture and definitely, Sho is in no condition to travel back at his own home anyways.

 

It's an ordinary night, humidity in its highest and feeling hot all over, the next thing Jun can fathom is Sho is kissing him, sloppy and wet, demanding but still gentle as Sho coaxes his lips to open up with a lick in his lower lip.

 

Jun complies even if a complaint is in the tip of his tongue. But then his tongue meets Sho's in a battle for dominance which he is losing as every second ticks by because he can feel his knees getting jelly. If it isn't for the fact that Sho has trapped him between his body and the wall, Jun will swoon like a teenage girl and he doesn't like that. No, he really doesn't like that.

 

"Ow!" Sho yelps, backing out while holding his mouth after Jun has bitten his lower lip and causing blood and Jun just smirks.

 

"Sorry." Jun says though and grabs Sho's wrist to guide him towards his room upstairs after locking the door of his front door. ( _It's better to be safe than sorry or his mother will kill him.)_

 

When they arrive, he does the same with his room's door. He turns around and Sho is already sitting at the foot of his bed with heavy lidded eyes. If Sho isn't half cradling his mouth with a pout, Jun will think that Sho has fallen asleep already but Sho is seemingly widely awake and so let the fun to continue. Jun smiles and straddles Sho in a second, coaxing the bruise with a peck and a lick. It taste metallic but still it is Sho and he doesn't mind.

 

Jun watches as Sho closes his eyes while humming in content, feeling both the former’s hands in each of his hips. He breathes Sho’s scent, musky and manly before leaning into kiss that turns deeper and deeper before Sho pulls back.

 

"Hot." It is one word coming from Sho and Jun already knows what to do. With another smirk, he pecks Sho's plump lips once again before unbuttoning his shirt.

 

"Too many clothes." Jun complains making Sho to chuckle.

 

It isn't clear whether they were in a hurry or not, since they have discarded each other's clothes so fast yet each movement coming next is slower than their usual.

 

Jun is already over Sho, putting kisses all over Sho's upper body because he has known that Sho liked that. A swipe of tongue over a nipple, a kiss in his pierced belly button _(and Sho moans so deliciously when Jun tugs Sho's piercing with his tongue)_ , a small bite in his navel line and then Jun finds himself facing Sho's hardened member, giving it a tentative lick afterwards. Sho is moaning, he is also groaning and Jun is licking further, swallowing it afterwards but suddenly Sho calls him, stopping him.

 

"Jun."

 

Jun looks up, tilting his head because in many years he has known Sho, it is the first time Sho has called him in that voice, so husky and so sensual and it frightens Jun in a way he can't describe, sending him shivers. Suddenly, Sho has already switched their places and he is now underneath Sho.

 

It isn't their first and Sho has been rough at him many times especially when quickies are needed in the middle of breaks while shooting variety shows and stuff, yet for some reason, Sho is gentle, looking at him with those round eyes, caressing his cheeks with the back of his hand.

 

"Sho?" Jun asks yet Sho doesn't reply but instead kisses him deeply and then a hand around his shaft not a moment later.

 

He arcs his back when Sho laps his throat as the older male penetrates him with the first finger, a second one coming later and the next. He bites his lower lip when Sho hits his spot as the other nips at his ear. He should have complain that he isn't a virgin because Sho is taking his sweet time in preparing him but then when he least expects it, Sho pushes his lenght in one go, making Jun to growl in pleasurable pain because it is spot on. It's so slow at first and gradually Sho sets his pace, aiming there as Jun wounds one of his legs around Sho's torso so it will go deeper and Sho holds him tighter.

 

There are pants and moans, groans and gasped and things have started getting too hazy in Jun's opinion, fingers tangled in a hairy mess as he trashes his head backwards, yet Sho holds him firmer and closer as he could, holding him like he is holding on for dear life and doesn't want to let go. He goes on deeper and harder that it feels like everything is blurry but still Jun can feel those kisses, in the side of his half-opened mouth, in his collarbone and then in his forehead and Jun's heart is leaping and he doesn't know anymore, _what to think, what to feel._

 

And when both know that they are in their peaks, they stare at each other as they release their own loads, Jun in between them and Sho inside of him.

 

Jun blinks his eyes with how Sho is staring back at him before the Keio graduate leans down and gives him a peck in the lips, just a brush yet he lingers there with a shaky breathe. Jun wants to say something but Sho has his goofy smile once again and he is speechless because there is just something with how Sho is staring at him. He ends up just watching Sho collapsing on his side, his eyes already closing. Maybe the alcohol and their recent activity has taken a toll on him already that he falls asleep in an instant. It leaves Jun confused, so confused that he just switches in an automatic mode, going to his bathroom and gets a wash cloth, removing sweats and cum from their bodies.

 

When done, Jun lies beside Sho under the covers once again, observing how peaceful Sho is sleeping and Jun can't help but smile.

 

Jun realizes he has been staring some time already and it makes him remember how Sho has been staring at him earlier, how his eyes are only locked to his own like Sho is seeing him, _all of him._ And then Sho's touches are so gentle and so careful and then those kisses are so sweet and warm and how Sho had hold him felt like he is the most precious thing in the world. It feels different from their casual sex between friends because it's like two people making love and _being in love._

 

And Jun asks in a whisper, _"Will you still love me till morning?"_

 

Sho stirs in his sleep but he doesn't wake up making Jun to shake his head with a smile but his smile is empty and just a facade. He closes his eyes to fall sleep. One lone tear drop finally traces one of his cheeks.

 

With that one question, Jun has bore everything, that _yes, he is in love with Sho_ and yet Jun learns to just ask that question only to his self because the one he wants to answer it can't and never will answer it because the next morning when Jun wakes up, Sho is gone already.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

For some reason, they have a mutual understanding that both of them needed a time out. Jun doesn't know who started it, but when one backs off, the other naturally does too. 

It isn't like they aren't friends anymore. Maybe their relationship has changed. It's less contact unless it's work related, Ma-chan turned Matsumoto-san, and things between them is kept professional. Jun doesn't mind one bit, and it seems Sho doesn't have any say for that matter too, so, all is well right?

In a way, the others don’t pry even if they know something have changed between him and Sho. Maybe its better, but worried stares coming from Aiba and Ohno didn't escape Jun's attention. It's nothing compared to Nino's unexplainable silence though.

Jun knows Nino is the most perceptive out of the three but the gamer doesn't show anything to them. There isn't a clue what Nino is thinking, and it makes him restless. If anything, Nino is the one who can read them like an open book. 

In the end, he just gives up and let it be because everyone is growing up in their own ways anyways. 

Jun has outgrew his phase when he is like a lost puppy, awkward and gangly. Now he stands on his own ground, proud and confident. On the other hand, Sho has outgrew his little fuse when he thought everyone is his enemy and he has the burden of the world. Now he is calm and collected, knowing how to laugh at his own mistakes and to just keep on going. Yet as they grow up, the distance grows too.

 

\----------

 

It takes more or less two years before Jun can say that being alone with Sho isn't that awkward. They're the two level-headed members out of Arashi, making them to connect in ways others might not understand. Jun always asks Sho when it comes to their concert production, if they can do this or do that. Though he doesn't ask if they can do stuff that goes in the lines of being suspended in the air because Sho will strongly disagree (and even if Jun doesn't admit it, it's kind of a good revenge from his part). Sho, in response, waits for him and does his best in giving suggestions, adding things that will be useful as they try to bring happiness to their thousands of fans.

It also comes naturally that every time Jun brings a bento in their green room, he shares it with Sho. Knowing about how Sho likes to try different gourmets and food, he trusts Sho to be honest in telling him what lacks in his cooking.

Jun doesn't admit though that his heart is thumping of nervousness every time he tells Sho that he tried a different recipe, and he wants to know what Sho thinks about it. It's the same when Sho gives him dozens of praises afterwards, but Jun doesn't want to label it because he knows he's entering again the zone he doesn't want to. But in all honesty, it seems he can't keep himself out of it.

Sho has always been good looking, intelligent and hardworking. Those are just the few things Jun likes about him. It is no wonder he openly said before that he is Sho's number one fan. It seems his admiration for the newscaster hasn't really faltered. It just grows more, and it develops back to that thing Jun wants to avoid at all costs. 

But Jun loses it all again, the ground for himself because he's falling again, falling in all the more. It is proven when it's one of the nights when Sho is too good for Jun's sake.

Jun intently stays behind because he need to recheck everything before they move on to rehearsals and stuff at a fast pace. A lot of things have been lined-up for the whole year and they need to keep this pace to continue the hype.

Of course, it isn't that Jun is complaining, or the other members aren't much of a help. Everyone is great, contributing in their own ways but there are times that it's been too much for Jun to handle too.

"Hey, you still here?"

Jun jerks up from his sit when he heard his voice. He turns around to face the door and finds Sho sticking in his head in the gap of the door and its frame. 

Jun doesn't know how to react the moment. He is expecting that the other members have gone home already, but Sho is still there and he isn’t ready for that.

"Uhm, yeah." He manages to say before turning around. He doesn't trust himself in facing Sho now when everything is too hazy in his mind. And then, there's that charming smile once again and Jun can feel his heart flipping because seriously, even if Jun had seen it numerous times, whether it is for cameras or not, it is ten times different when they are in this kind of situation, when they are alone like this.

Jun can feel and hear his frantic heartbeat knowing Sho lets himself in. He is sure Sho will hear it too the moment the older male is within five meters from him. It doesn't help that he can clearly hear the sound of Sho's footsteps echoing in the four walls of the meeting room, making him fidgety in his seat.

"You know, there's still tomorrow for that Matsumoto-kun." Sho says after peeping over Jun's shoulder to know what the youngest member is up too.

Jun mentally congratulates himself because he managed to calm himself before Sho got too close or else he might place the older male in a uncomfortable situation.

"Yeah, I know but still..." He protests, quite amused to the fact that he can still act like it's nothing despite how everything inside of him is in turmoil.

"You're overdoing it." Sho reminds him and that may be true but that just how he is. Sho should have known better. 

"Same goes to you." Jun retorts upon noticing stacks of newspaper peeking outside of Sho's bag.

Sho chuckles at that, raising his hands in mock surrender, but he doesn't say anything anymore. He just pulls a chair beside Jun, sits there and looks at Jun's notes about their upcoming concert. It's Kokuritsu we are talking about after all and that means a lot. Somehow, there's connection between them again as they talk in a comfortable manner.

It feels good when it's like this. There's no awkwardness or anything. They just talk about things they think about the upcoming concerts and activities. It isn't anything personal but everything just feels normal like nothing has changed between them.

"Yeah, I can do this." Jun thinks.

But when he turns his head around, he isn't ready yet with how close Sho's face is, staring at him with that ever gentle smile, and once again, he is reminded how beautiful Sho's eyes has always been.

No one says another word. No one pulls away. They are just staring at each other and this will be the first time they actually stare at each other for years.

And this time, Jun gives in.

Jun closes his eyes and leans in, brushing his lips against Sho. He feels Sho stiffens but he doesn't back out and gives another peck. It is Sho who deepens the kiss the next time their lips connected.

"Not here..." Sho pulls away before things get out of hand, but it's just enough space where Jun can still feel Sho's breath against his face. Despite the disappointment, Jun's complies as he realizes where they are and what they are doing. He nods and follows Sho as the older male gathers their things in haste, giving no room for Jun to protest when Sho grabs his hand and leads him to ride a cab after leaving the building.

It feels nostalgic as Jun remembers that night almost two years ago when he brought Sho to his parents' home, when Sho locked his eyes only to him, seeing all of him. He remembers how Sho touched him so gently and careful, and when Sho kissed him sweetly and full of warmth. But what remains vivid in his memory is when Sho held him, letting him feel like he is the most precious thing in the world.

It's all the same feelings that overwhelms him inside out and Jun lets it all out, all the frustrations, all the tension, and also all those feelings he had kept inside all of those years.

He moans Sho's name without restrictions, not caring whether Sho's neighbors will hear him as he rides Sho in his bed. He kisses him like there's no tomorrow, and maybe there isn't. As they both release, Jun hides his faces in the junction between Sho's neck and shoulder, trying to muffle his sobs.

He doesn't know whether Sho hears him or not, but he is thankful that the older male doesn't say anything. Sho just lays him in his back, gets up to get a wash cloth, and cleans them up before joining him under the covers.

His back is facing Sho, but he can feel the older male's eyes on him. With a deep breath, he turns around and meets Sho's eyes in the darkness of the room. He can't clearly see him but he can make out shapes in front of him. There is Sho's nose, his plump lips, and then there's Sho's eyes still staring at him.

He wants to ask him, tells him to stop and don't look at him, but he doesn't and stares back instead, smiling as Sho gives him a smile back before closing his eyes to go to sleep.

Jun can pretend for tonight, just for tonight.

"Will you still love me till morning?" Jun whispers because he can still pretend that Sho will answer, knowing Sho can't and never will answer it because the next morning Sho wakes up, Jun is gone already.


	3. Chapter 3

When Jun arrives at his apartment, he instantly goes to his bathroom and let the shower drench him, not caring whether he has his clothes still on. He just stares at nothingness as he lets the cold water runs through his shivering body. It feels cold, but it's nothing compared to what his heart feels.  
  
In just one night, they are back where everything started, this so-called set up where everything is nothing. Jun knows pleasure and needs are the only things that can be temporarily satisfied with this, but he doesn't stop himself. No one is stopping them either.  
  
They meet in discreet. From time to time it was in some sleazy love hotel, most of the time happens in closed empty rooms between schedules, and then there are times that it happens in Sho's apartment, but never in his home.  _No, please not in my home_.  
  
He doesn't want Sho to be one to leave first. It's him, always him, because he knows if Sho leaves, the older male might not come back anymore, and Jun can't take that. At least if it's him, he knows he will come back. He always does.  
  
Jun is well aware how everything is a mess for him already, broken and crushed, and the only place he can find solace is his own home. It is the only place he could build himself even knowing it won't do much because each time he asks  _that one question;_ Jun knows no one can answer it. Definitely no one.  
  
_Perhaps the only one who can answer it is the to whom the question is secretly directed to._  
  
  
  
One night, there is an insistent ringing, and with the tone he is hearing, he knows it's his doorbell. With a grumble, he gets up, fetches his glasses in the bedside table in hopes of covering his puffy eyes, and then walks towards the door. He's going to lash out on whoever thought that it's a good idea to ring someone's door at the middle of the night.  
  
He is ready to shout out, his mouth is wide open to let out curses and any profanities without a care, but no sound comes out as soon as he sees the two people in front of his doorway.  
  
"Nino," he acknowledges the one standing straight up, supporting another man who is seemingly under the influence of alcohol. When he finally recognizes who the other man is, he gasps, "Sho-san!"  
  
"I would really appreciate some help. Sho-chan can really weight a ton." Nino said with a grimace, and that finally snaps Jun into action.  
  
Jun is amazed how Sho can still walk despite looking like he passed out already, but Jun can still hear some groans and moans, a sign that Sho might still be half-awake. But he never hears words from him, even slurred ones. He wonders if Sho is aware where Nino had brought him.  
  
It's also a mystery that Nino did brought the older male here rather than bringing him back to his own apartment or Sho's apartment, but he can't ask out yet since Sho needs to be taken care first, and so he'll wait.  
  
It's quite a relief though with Nino being there, keeping the atmosphere light with his playful word. He keeps on mumbling things that goes in the line of  _'Why do I know you guys again'_  and  _'he better pay up the drinks I ended up paying for him'_. It eases Jun's tensioned heart, making him feel like they're not in his home and Sho and Nino aren't intruders of the night. He can pretend that this is just somewhat way-too-much-alcohol-for-the-night-we'll-have-huge-hangover-tomorrow situation, but when they manage to settle Sho in his bed, it all sinks in.  
  
If Sho wakes up, what will happen then? Sho will be the one to do the leaving, and Jun can't take that.  
  
Jun has been silent all the while as he escorts Nino out of his bedroom, "You can crash in if you want?" He tries, noticing that Nino is already heading out of his apartment.  
  
"I'd rather not," is Nino's soft answer, and Jun knows Nino is decided on that already.  
  
"You want something to drink first?" He tries again despite Nino already opening his apartment door. He really needs a company for bit longer, and Nino's presence is soothing. It will help him steady his mind first knowing he'll be alone with Sho. Hopefully, he'll be ready to function by then when morning comes and he needs to face Sho.  
  
Nino pauses for awhile, making Jun to stop too. He anticipates whether Nino decides to stay, but the gamer turns around and faces him without a word. Jun can see that there is hesitation in Nino's eyes, and he wonders why.  
  
"Jun," Nino starts and when Nino calls him in his first name, Jun knows what Nino will be saying next is important. "I told myself that I won't interfere with whatever you and Sho-chan has. But I think it's best if you guys talk about it."  
  
"I-," Jun stutters, but decides to just stay silent and let Nino to continue.  
  
"Riida and Aiba are worried," Nino reminds Jun. "Well, we're all worried, but we can't honestly interfere as members of Arashi because this is something between just the two of you. But-," Nino pauses and lets out a shaky breath before continuing, "but as a friend, we can't give a shut eye about this anymore."  
  
Jun's eyes turn moist. He can't believe that in trying to hide everything, they are actually putting the other members, no, _their friends,_  in an uncomfortable situation. Instead of being judged by them, they just try to understand them, and Jun is really thankful for that.  
  
"Both of you need to stop walking in circles," Nino says truthfully, his hand making its way to Jun's shoulder. "I know you guys are the most level-headed pair in Arashi, and we do acknowledge that," Nino chuckles at that to ease the tension he knows his words might build, "But you two are completely idiots for over thinking about this," and with a squeeze in Jun's shoulders, he ends it with another statement that leaves Jun speechless, "Sometimes, it's better to be just simple about it."  
  
It takes Jun a moment before he can whisper with uncertainty, "H-how?"  
  
“Be honest to yourselves, Jun. That’s all you need." Nino coaxes, playfully patting his left cheek before turning around and leaving the apartment. Rather than being pissed off with Nino's last gesture, he is actually smiling because Nino showed nothing, but sincerity. He shakes his head in amusement, because despite the seriousness of the situation, Nino still manage to keep things light. After closing the door and giving it a last look, he heads back to his bedroom.  
  
Jun isn't nervous anymore to be alone with Sho back in his bedroom. He isn't entirely comfortable with it because there's still the question of what will happen when Sho finally wakes up, but still he feels this is right.  
  
Carefully not to wake Sho up, Jun joins him under the covers. He is lying there sideways with him facing Sho, who is also lying sideways and facing him. The moonlight slipping through his curtains is enough to let him see Sho's sleeping face in the darkness. Before he can stop his self, he is cupping Sho's cheek.  
  
He doesn't flinch when there is a sudden movement, and he finds himself eye to eye with the newscaster, a hand is over his own above Sho's cheek. He just stares because Sho is staring back. No matter how hazy Sho looks while looking back at him, he can still see it, the spark in the eyes that Sho had before.  
  
Once again, he is reminded again about that night when everything started, the very first time he gives his all when he was 22 and Sho was a year older, and that leaves him with one question, "Will you still love me till morning?"  
  
It is the first time he openly asked Sho about it. He feels nervous, but it's nothing compared to his determination to have a closure to this, whatever this may be. He just wants to be honest to himself, and he wants Sho to do the same too.  
  
"I can't promise you anything Jun. No ma-,"  
  
Jun shakes his head, making Sho to stop. He rubs his thumb against Sho's cheek, watches as Sho closes his eyes and nuzzles more against his palm. He feels Sho's hold on his hand tightens, and Jun feels warmer. Instead of answering, Sho captures his lips in an intense lip lock as he finds himself under Sho's body.  
  
Jun feels it. Sho isn't holding back and he doesn't too. As clothes have been discarded, they rediscover their bodies as they look at each other with their real feelings. No more walls and no more pretending. They just let their feelings fill the distance they have made before and mend the broken pieces that years of denying have crushed.  
  
Jun feels whole again when he feels Sho penetrating him, moans his name like a mantra, and holds him closer. His right hand blindly trying to find Sho's in the tangles of limbs, but Sho's meets him half-way, grabs hold of it, and kisses it even before pushing deeper as his pace picks up.  
  
They are looking at each other's eyes when they releases, and that's when Jun watches how Sho's mouth form words, hearing them so soft yet unyielding, "I love you."  
  
They are catching their breaths as they return to their position before, with both lying sideways and facing each other. Sho has his eyes closed, but Jun knows the older male is still awake.  
  
"Will you still love me till morning?" Jun repeats his own question, and when Sho opens his eyes, Jun feels like crying. It isn't out of sadness though. It's the exact opposite.  
  
"Forever and ever." Sho answers.  
  
Jun is now in tears, overwhelmed with so much emotions, but it isn't heavy in his heart especially when Sho holds him closer, pecking his lips before he feels Sho's forehead against his.  Minutes later, he finds himself drifting to dreamland cocooned in Sho’s warm and love.  
  
When Jun wakes up, he heads for the files of clothes scattered, and gets his boxers and a wife-beater within his reach. He goes to the kitchen, and starts preparing coffee, rampaging through his cupboards for a box of pancake. With it, he starts making breakfast. The hum of the coffee-maker and the sizzle from the frying pan is calming, but it is nothing compared to the sound of footsteps approaching, and then there is a breath against the back of his right ear. It's cold in the morning, but he feels warm when arms wound around his waist, and he can’t help but to lean back to that warmth.  
  
"Morning," Sho whispers against Jun's ear, as Sho's arms tightens around his waist, and a kiss planted on his shoulder.  
  
He chuckles inwardly when he remembers again that one question that he always asks Sho silently, the same question he doesn't let Sho to answer till last night. It seems he doesn't need to hear Sho answering it because Sho is showing it already, the way he is holding him like he is the most precious thing in the world.  
  
_Jun knows_ _Sho isn’t promising anything, still it doesn’t mean that it can’t be the beginning in which everything just clicks to its places._


End file.
